Think and be positive they say, it's going to be fun they say, but they don't tell you how much work you will have to put into it to actually achieve it.
This is not going to be a post where I talk about positivity and how beautiful the world is and how you have no reasons to think negative, only positive.
Nope, not that bullshit today.
Quite frankly, if you are ever reading an article about that there is just positivity in life and negativity is an illusion then stop reading the article, because that person is trying to present you a life and a lifestyle, which will never happen and an illusion.
There is no way that you will ever not experience a life with just positive thoughts or feelings.
That's why you are not going to hear me say during this blog post to just think positive.
Let me tell you a secret.
You gotta do the work if you want that supportive, empowering positive mindset.
Moreover, when you have that type of mindset you still gotta work and do the work to keep it.
Pus, having a positive mindset doesn't mean never ever again to experience negative emotions or thoughts.
You still are going to experience them; however, you will learn how to bounce back easier and focus on what really matters to you.
Also, I am not going to tell you what to do. What's the best method to start practicing positive thinking?
There are unlimited options of what you could do.
However, every step I'm going to mention in this post is an action step that took part in helping me out to think more positive and build the supportive, empowering and mindset I have today.
At the end of the day, it's up to you to do what's best for you.
Just because these steps worked for me, it doesn't mean it will work for you too.
We are all unique and perfect in our own way.
Moreover, whatever feels right for you is the name of the game.
However, these 10 steps could help and inspire you to come up with your own actions, which can help you create the mindset you are looking for.
Just promise yourself that you are going to read this post with the intention of being open and reflect on these 10 steps in relation to your life and how it could increase your overall positivity.
How does that sound to you?
WATCH THE VIDEOs BELOW OR CONTINUE READING TO LEARN HOW!
1. Start A Positive Conversation.
It sounds simple, right? Just to start a conversation with something positive.
Every time you start a conversation on a positive note, it will help you put the focus on the negativity away and into the positive side of life.
I don't know if you are aware of it, but every time I used to talk with someone, we always end up talking about something negative of their day, what's happening in the world and what negative effect that had on their life.
There is nothing wrong with this and the negative focus; however, just focusing daily on the negativity of life and starting each time with a negative conversation must be draining and exhausting.
What do you think?
Try this out and see how your life and the focus of your life's journey changes.
I even have the perfect question to ask here to change the focus and start the conversation with a positive intention.
The question I ask to start a positive conversation
I usually ask "Tell me something positive about your day."
You will be surprised what people will respond to it and come up with one positive thing about their day. I still get surprised each time when I get a response to this.
Moreover, I realized that for some people to come up with something positive about their day is hard.
Plus, for some people, it's challenging to come up with something and focus in a positive event, a memory of their day or even life.
But what do I do when they say I don't know or nothing?
If that happens to you and I am sure it will, don't freak out or get stressed that they didn't come up with something positive. This is not about you.
Let me repeat it again.
This is not about you, it's about them.
Just let them know it's totally fine that they don't know. Plus, they don't have to come up with something now at the moment.
Give them a big smile and tell them that you believe that they will come up with something positive about their day.
When you let them know that you believe in them and they have any time in the world to answer to this question, they will feel less stressed and more motivated to take a look at your question and their day.
What do you do when they ask you about the why?
It happened to me and I am sure someone will ask you too.
When somebody asks you why are you asking this,
Just be honest.
My answer is always
"I just want to start the conversation with a positive note, it's nice and empowering to focus on the positive side, instead of constantly focusing on the negative, the draining side of life."
That's my reason why.
What is yours?
Sometimes I help them out with coming up with something positive by letting them know that they smiled during our talk and that must be something positive.
Now let me ask you a question, you can type your answer at the end of this blog post if you want.
What is one positive thing that happened during your day?
2. Surround Yourself With Positive People
This was life changing and still is to me.
The power of being surrounded with positive people is that you will start to focus on the possibilities of life and see that life is beautiful instead of the negative.
Surrounding myself with empowering people was the best thing I did and I still do.
My energy increased.
I smile more often.
I put the focus on the positive in my life, rather on the negative.
This is something which is going to be hard for some of you.
I know it because I've been there, I've been surrounded with negative, draining people, friends, and family members.
However, this didn't stop me to surround myself with those uplifting people in my life, which I visioned myself to be with.
But first let me tell you this, I am not going to tell you to leave all your negative friends and family members aside so you are surrounded with positive people.
If I would have done it and followed that advice in the past I would have no one, no friend, no family member and not even someone to talk too.
I was surrounded by negative people, who don't support my dreams and visions.
I was and still am surrounded by those same people, who sometimes reflect their fears on me.
The difference is that I developed some strategies and know it's not about me, it's about them when they reflect their fears on me.
Plus, you know what?
That's totally fine too.
I am not the type of person, who is going to force you to believe in my dreams and visions of my life.
I will never force someone to believe in what I am saying and in myself.
That's not the job of my friends, family members, and the world.
Or you, the one who is reading this.
It's my job to believe in myself and believe in my visions.
The power always will and is in me.
If your belief in yourself is in somebody else hand, guess what could happen?
Jep, they can take it away whenever they want and you can't do anything about it, because you gave them total power and control over you.
However, it makes the process a lot easier, when you're surrounded by people who believe in your dreams and you too.
So let's get started.
Tip Number 1
Find those empowering, uplifting and positive people, who believe in you and in your dreams and support you during your journey.
Don't wait for them to appear and show up in your life.
Moreover, don't expect them to arrive on your doorstep and say "Hey I am here to support you throughout your journey, we are in this together."
I did it and believe me I waited years for those people.
Guess what happened, they never came.
I'm so glad that it didn't take me forever to realize that if I want supportive people in my life I have and want to find them and nourish those relationships.
What I want to say is, don't wait for them to find you.
That is not their job. It's yours.
Go and find them yourself.
Probably, those people are also waiting for you to show up in their life.
Put yourself out there, find like-minded people, go to events or places your people and you would enjoy going, join FB-Groups where they are hanging out. There tons of possibilities.
If you are also introvert, I 100% believe there are events and social media groups for people like you too. Just go and find them.
Moreover, with the help of social media, your job of finding them and connecting with your support people got much easier than 25 years ago.
--Stop sitting on your couch and binge-watching Netflix shows.
You are just one click away.
What are you waiting for?
Tip Number 2
This leads me to the next thing, what do you do with those new friendships.
Well, the question is super easy you just don't take them for granted.
You've gotta nourish the relationship or else it will die.
Think of a beautiful flower, your favorite flower.
( I am thinking about a sunflower if you're wondering about what I'm thinking. )
What will happen if you stop giving that flower water and let her expose to the sunlight?
The flower is going to die, right?
That's how a relationship works.
I know a relationship is much more complicated and a bigger commitment than taking care of a flower.
However, that's what's going to happen if you don't take care of the new relationship.
You probably overwhelmed with it and thinking.
“How am I suppose to manage all of this, I already have a lot of commitments and things I need to take care of. I don't have any time for more.“
Let me tell you something.
If you want to have those supportive, empowering people in your life you gotta put the work into it and meet those people along the way.
A healthy, supportive relationship is built with time and is a process and a commitment to life.
Plus, if you are honest with yourself at the end of the day it's going to pay off.
You'll have awesome people beside you, who will support you alongside your journey and will challenge you to be the best version of yourself.
The question here is, are you willing to put the work towards it?
If your answer is no, that's fine too.
Just be honest with yourself about how willing you are to do what it takes to achieve and get what you want.
Keep in mind that you are 100% responsible for the 50% of the 100% of the relationship and the other person 50% of the other 100%.
Tip Number 3
You are probably wondering
”Ivan, what do I do with those negative people in my life? Most of them are my friends and family. I don't want to lose any of them. “
Breath and relax, you don't need to cut any one of your life!
I am not going to tell you to do it if I managed to create a strategy that allowed me to stick with all my friends, but still, keep the positive energy in the room.
Now you are probably thinking, how did you do it?
I got you.
First of all what you need to do is to figure out who those negative people are.
If you are like me you don't have many of those, no need to worry, but if you are reading this and you got more than 10 of them.
Well, it's about time that you take a real look at your life and decide what to do with those negative once.
Personally, I would get rid of them.
They suck the life force out of you.
You don't need any of those vampires in your life.
What do you do if they are your parents, your brother, your sister or others of your family, well what I did and still do is spending less time with them and when I have to interact with one of them I try to keep the conversation just positive or at least neutral.
Moreover, if you want to stick with them is your decision.
I am not going to tell you what to do with your life or friends.
Here comes the amazing strategy.
Get to know your friends and family members.
No, I'm not kidding, you probably don't know them well enough if they keep coming to you with negativity.
What I mean about getting to know them is that I want you to try to find out what makes them go all negative and positive.
What are the topics that you can't talk to them, specifically what are the things they don't care or don't like to talk about? Go for what they hate.
You are going to do this with each one of your negative buddies.
This way you are going to identify what to talk to them about and what not.
Let me give you an easy example, I have friends and family members, who don't like to talk about books, either positive stuff.
Guess what I don't talk about with them? Exactly!
Just give this theory a thought, why would you talk with somebody about your passions, your dreams, your visions, when they don't care to talk about it and actually they'd like to talk about politics or cars.
They will start to get upset, frustrated, angry.
Plus, they will probably reflect their negativity on you.
You, my friend, will start to get upset, frustrated and negative too.
Right? So tell me,
Would you be interested to listen to and talk about a topic for hours you don't care at all?
Basically, what I am trying to say here is that not all your friends and family members are interested in the same topics as you are and that's okay.
That's totally fine they're not supposed to like all your stuff.
Talk with them about stuff you have in comment.
Please, just don't force your friends or family members to talk about things they don't care.
Stop creating negative energy and start creating consciously positive energy.
Some of you guys will have probably nobody else to talk about your passions, your visions, your dreams...
Let me tell you this
When you are in the position where I was where I had no one to share my dreams with, guess what I did and you need to do?
Go and find those people, who are interested in those topics.
It's your job to find them.
When it comes to feeling thankful I am your guy.
Feeling grateful for your day and life isn't only going to make you feel and be more an up-person, but also helps you appreciate the things in your life.
When you practice gratitude you will realize that you actually have a lot in your life what you could feel grateful for.
By practicing gratitude you will start to get aware of the things and people in your life you are thankful for.
You get more conscious about what you have in life.
Plus, you learn to appreciate the little things in your life too.
To be honest with you gratitude played and still plays a huge roll in my life.
It changed how I perceived a lot of things in my past and acted upon it.
I am now in a place where I am grateful for everything that happened in my life and if I would get a chance to go back and change a few things I would change nothing.
However, this is something I am not going to talk about today.
I want you to take a piece of paper out and a pen.
Write down 3 things you are grateful for
Say those 3 things out loud
Acknowledge and reflect on your top 3
Do this daily or once per week and believe me it's going to help you see a few things in your life from another perspective.
Bonus tip, if you want to have a great start in the morning with positivity just write or say 3 things you are grateful for.
I am grateful for
My self-care challenge
My family and friends
My honesty and trust in myself
What are you grateful for?
Celebrating is one of my favorite things to do to make me feel awesome and like a big success.
Moreover, I use celebration to acknowledge and reflect on my achievements.
It's crucial that you celebrate your victories no matter big or small.
By celebrating your successes and even your failures you give yourself permission to congratulate yourself for your work and the progress you made.
Jep celebrating your failure is a thing and it feels great
One thing that a lot of people confuse with the word celebration is that they think that you can just celebrate your big achievements and that celebrations must be in relation with a party like going to the club.
Just think about it, what would your life look like if you would celebrate not only your big accomplishments but also the small ones?
What would be different?
For me, life would be a celebration and full of enjoying the moment and having lots of fun.
Plus, some people think that you have to celebrate big and have a big party or go out eat a fancy meal.
Although there is nothing wrong with celebrating that way, you may want to incorporate some other activities or else you won't have any money at the end of the month.
Celebrating your process can be done in a lot of different ways.
I for example like to say some nice words to myself You did great; moreover, dancing and singing always is part of my celebration routine.
I also like to drink just water or stretch for a few minutes.
It doesn't have to be fancy and great, it just has to feel right to you.
Think about one thing you did today you are proud of yourself?
What is one thing you could do to celebrate your one thing?
One thing I am proud of myself that I did today is writing this blog post, everything just got deleted and I haven't given up.
I am going to drink a cup of water now and celebrate my determination.
That's it, did it right now.
I feel great to do it.
Plus, it took less than 2 min to do it.
Take your time.
Reflect on your achievements and be proud of yourself.
Now you. Do it!
Let me know in the comment section below how it went and how you felt.
5. Daily Affirmations
Daily affirmations are a no-brainer when it came to thinking positive and be positive and creating positive change in my life.
Wow, a lot of positive in one sentence. :D
I love affirmations they have something magical.
They are like those magical sentences or words that where you don't just say I am going to be ....(your affirmations), but where you state it like it's actually occurring.
I am ( your affirmation ).
Those positive affirmations make you feel that you are actually what you are telling yourself.
They give you the confidence but you need to take action.
I used to tell myself daily affirmations to give me that positive energy to create the empowering life I always wanted and still is.
My favorite affirmations were
I got this
I am awesome
I am in control of my energy to be the person I want to be.
Relax no need to stress, I am always a winner.
However, just saying that you are awesome and you got this will not change things for a long term.
You'll start to believe at the beginning that you are what you say, but without proof, you won't have any evidence to convince yourself that it's actually true.
You are not your thought neither what you say. You are what you do.
If you want to believe and have proof that what you say is true you want and need to come up with actions and specific steps that give you the evidence that you are actually what you tell yourself.
Without action, it's just going to be a thought or words you say out loud.
Action speaks louder than spoken words.
Now let's come up with powerful statements for your life that will empower and give you the confidence boost to take positive action in the direction you want to go.
Moreover, the affirmation can go from one word to a big sentence.
Nothing has meaning until you give it meaning.
Your meaning is what counts the most for you.
What are some empowering words or sentences that would be powerful for you to hear?
What are some affirmations that you want to come true?
I am... (your affirmation).
As of today, I am ( your affirmation).
What are some actions you can take to prove that your affirmation is true?
How will it look like when you take action in relation to your affirmation?
I would love to hear about your daily affirmations and what actions you could do to prove yourself that it's actually true in the comment section below.
Moreover, you got this.
I believe in you.
Now go and create some positive change in relation to your affirmation.
6. Take Positive Actions
Actions speak louder than spoken words.
Sorry, but just thinking positive is not going to make your life stay positive for the long term.
Your thoughts are powerful, which I already explained in the previous step, but without nourishing those thoughts with actions, they will get lose with your other thoughts in your head.
Just telling yourself that you are confident or an inspiring person is just the first step to give yourself a motivational bust for the short term.
However, what you want to do, is not just to feel and think for a short period of time that you're actually what you think, but you want to prove to yourself that those motivational thoughts are actually true.
The only way how to convince our minds that we actually are what we think is by creating and taking actions in relation to the thoughts we have and want to experience.
So if you want to be more positive, inspirational, motivational, confident, happy person.
You want to come up with steps and bring the positive energy in the room.
Don't wait for it, bring it!
If you want to experience more positivity in your life, it's your responsibility and job to make it happen.
It's not your friends and family's job to do it for you.
Don't wait for someone to show up in your life and inspire you to be and feel great.
THat external person may never come into your life.
Be that person, be the person you need and want to be in your life.
Don’t wait for it to come.
Do something. Just Do.
Stop reading this blog post and go do the work.
Start with doing something in the mornings.
A quick inspirational story about me.
When I was a teen I loved going to school. The school was my second home.
I know that sounds cheesy but that's the truth. I love it.
Moreover, in the morning each time I enter the class, I just saw all my classmates tired, not motivated, neither ready to get started.
Tee energy in the room was extremely low.
Moreover, it started to affect me, my mood and motivation too.
I couldn't go with this attitude for the rest of the year or my life.
I wished that there would be a person, who would enter the class and wake everyone up and spread some positivity and be happy, excited for the day.
Moreover, someone who doesn't let other people's mood affect his mood too.
That's when I realized that this person will never come or enter this room and if that's something I wish to happen is my job and only my responsibility to make it happen!
Guess what I did each morning?
I decided that each day when I enter the class I bring the positive energy into the room, start to take action and be that person I was waiting for.
Not only did my mood and energy changed during the year, but my peer's energy too.
To be honest with you, they started to complain about it, but every time I saw someone complain about me and how I showed up in class, I saw a smile, a more motivated student.
It changed not only my mood and motivation but theirs too.
Don't wait for it, bring it!
First of all, let's come up with some action steps to live a more positive, happy and enjoyable life.
Focus on you, on your needs and wants.
Here are some sample questions to ask yourself :
What are some actions you can come up with today to create a positive mindset?
How does your day look like when you take positive actions?
What is one thing you can do right now that would create positivity in your life?
What do I feel passionate about, and how can I spend more time on my passion?
Name 3 things that you enjoy doing, which also empower you to become a better person.
What would you recommend a friend to do to start to think and be more positive?
I just want to congratulate you for coming up with at least one positive step.
You are amazing, congrats!
Now, when you read the questions you probably came up with a few actions you can take to start to think and live a more positive, empowering life.
What were those actions?
Moreover, when can you start applying those action steps in your life?
7. Acknowledge Your Negative Feelings
You are probably thinking that this doesn't make any sense.
This blog post is about 10 positive steps and now I am talking about acknowledging your negative feelings.
Yes, that's exactly what I am telling you.
Let it out, all out.
Guess what happens when you try to hold everything inside of you?
One day you are going to explode.
Guess again, who has then to clean all that shit up?
When we are children we get told to suck it up and move one.
We get told that if we don't move on fast we will be miserable in our lives.
This leads to when we are adults that we have issues with sharing how we feel and express our emotions.
However, not expecting how we feel and just put the weight on our shoulders is not going to make our life easier.
You must feel heavy with all those weights on your shoulders carrying it from one place to the next one.
Moreover, at least each week there is something new to add on.
That's why when you want to start to experience more positivity in your life you gotta learn to give yourself permission to feel the way you are feeling.
It's okay to feel the way you feel right now.
If you feel sad, angry, exhausted, it's okay.
With everything that you've been carrying around for the past weeks, months or even years it's understandable that you feel this way.
Moreover, you have every right to feel whatever you want to feel.
You owe no one an explanation why.
Take your time, stop and breath.
Little by little, let it all out.
If you are carrying all those negative energies around you, of course, you don't have any space to experience more positive emotions.
How does it feel to let go of some weight on your shoulders?
8. Focus On Solutions, Rather Than Problems
Focusing on solutions rather on problems was and is the best thing I did in my life.
Just give it a thought.
Every time you focus on the problem you start to feel more negative.
Moreover, you are going to feel like a victim or get upset about yourself and your environment.
This is not going to help you out to change your situation.
However, when you focus on the solution you start to experience positivity.
You will start to feel and think more about what you can do to change the narrative.
You are ready to explore and find a way to change your circumstances.
The difference between them is not only that you experience a different type of energies, but like I explained above you also behave totally different.
Plus, the time and energy you spent on complaining about everything and everyone, you could use it to come up with a solution.
It's your choice.
I know it's easier said than done.
There are those moments in your life, where you are full of anger or victim energy that it's impossible for you to focus on the solutions.
In those moments I want you to let it out.
Yes, you are hearing correctly.
Let it all out.
It's not going to help you if you try to hold on to those negative energies.
If you need to scream, scream.
I did it once in an argument. The other person looked at me like, what is going on, but I had to do it or else I would explode.
I felt right better after it and it just took me a few seconds.
Guess how the argument ended?
Moreover, talk with someone if it helps you.
Do whatever works for you the best.
However, don't let it out to people who have nothing to do with how you feel.
It's not their responsibilities, it's yours.
Plus, when you focus on solutions you will move faster forward to come up with an opportunity to change your situation.
Think about a time in your life where you were focusing on the problem.
What were you thinking or feeling?
How did it go?
Now think about a time where you focused on the solution.
What were your thoughts and feelings?
How did you act in relation to those thoughts and feelings?
Compare those two events
What is standing out for you?
What did you learn from comparing those two events?
How can you apply what you learned in the future?
I would love to hear about your lesson and how you are going to apply it in the future.
Let me know in the comment section below.
9. Think About Positive, Funny Memories
When I was a child I used to look at objects, people or places and I tried to remember every moment and memory of it
I loved to travel back to the past and just remember.
No matter if it was positive or negative.
At that time, I didn't realize how powerful and useful this skill would be.
Just imagine everytime you think about a positive, funny memory it's going to make you laugh, smile and be happier.
Each time you think about happy events of your life you are going to reinforce positive behavior.
Your energy is going to increase and you will smile more often.
Moreover, each time you are alone you will automatically think about positive memories instead of negative once.
This means no more being afraid of being alone with your thoughts you already programmed your mind to focus on the positivity in your life rather on the negative.
Moreover, thinking about those funny memories will help you be more relaxed and decrease stress.
That's also what I actually do when I feel stressed out, I just focus on a random object or person and think about something funny or happy moment.
It takes just a few seconds and I am smiling and laughing and stress-free.
Try it out, it works.
Take a look around you.
Breath and relax
now find an object or person.
Think about a happy memory in relation to the object or person
Focus on the memory
What were you feeling and thinking that moment?
I don't know about you but this is just wonderful!
Feeling amazing and I am just smiling right now.
How are you feeling?
Plus, what was the memory that made you smile and experience some positivity?
10. Smile Without Reason
This is probably going to sound stupid for you, but just smiling without reason is going to make you think and be more positive.
I know in the beginning it feels weird, because why should I smile if I have no reason for it.
The thing here is to stop thinking and just to smile.
If you are one of those, who needs a reason, well smile because you are alive.
If that's not a reason to smile than I don't know what else to tell you.
Kidding, I easily could tell you 13 reasons why to smile now.
It's simple but so effective.
Just do it now.
To be honest with you, the word smile makes me smile.
I always have to picture a smile in my mind and that makes me smile.
It's silly but it works.
Are you smiling? :D
WANT TO READ MORE?
NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU!
What is your favourite step you do that brings you joy?
What do you do to think more positive in your life?