The Mask Of Masculinity by Lewis Howes


Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt pressure to hide your emotions.

Now, raise your hand if hiding your emotions has ever made you feel better.

Didn’t think so.

Society and the masculine culture puts pressure on men and boys to ignore or hide their emotions, put them into boxes and pretend they don’t exist.

“As a kid, if you were struggling with something in school, that was your problem, and you had better fix it yourself (cheat and lie) or get really good at faking your way through it.

Just don’t let it impact your performance.”

Just like most guys, it worked okay, until it didn’t.

The walls we have built “to protect” us are starting to feel like they’re closing in around us.

How much is it actually costing us to live this kind of lifestyle?

A study in 2017 has shown that men in the US died by suicide 3.54x more often than women.

That crazy, right?

Women seek help, men die.

Our society is evolving in relation to the masculinity culture.

Maybe not as fast as we wish it, but still evolving.

I believe that the Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes is going to play a big role in this generation and the next ones since it already has impacted a lot of men and women’s mindset in relation to the masculine culture.

Thank’s Lewis Howes for speaking up and being an inspiration for men to embrace vulnerability, create strong relationships, and live their fullest lives.


Please note: some links on this page are affiliate & therefore earn me a small commission. Thank you for your support.


Summary - The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes is about how men can embrace vulnerability, create strong relationships, and live their fullest lives.

I love how Lewis describes the purpose of The Mask of Masculinity, which “is to show you what those masks are, why they’re there, and how to take them off.

I don’t want to change you.

I just want to help you be who you already truly are.”

Moreover, what I love about this book is that it’s not only for men, but it is also for women.

Specifically, Lewis wrote some advice how women can deal with a man who is wearing a particular mask.

That’s why I believe this book is so special since it can be beneficial for men and women.

Writing & Structure - I feel like the Mask of Masculinity would be a life-changer for every man.

Especially, for boys that are growing up in this masculinity culture.

This book is perfectly suited even for teenage boys since it’s a fast read and incorporates easy language.

The structure of each chapter was obviously laid out.

  1. A Story of a man, who embodied and put a specific mask on

  2. Benefits of dropping the mask and how to deal with the mask

  3. Finally, a paragraph for women, how to handle a man, who is wearing a specific mask

The structure and repetitiveness haven’t affected my read or how much I got out of the book.

Moreover, Lewis Howes describes each mask with the help of inspirational stories of successful people.

A lot of those stories resonated with me and gave me a lot of flashbacks when a similar situation happened to me.

I actually enjoyed those flashbacks, because it helped me see my childhood and teenage years from a different perspective during the read.

Highlights & Takeaways

Highlight 1 - Preface + Intro ( 17 Pages)

I never in my entire life was so excited and spent that much time to read the Preface and the intro as I did for the Mask of Masculinity.

Lewis Howes did a fantastic job when it came to writing the Preface and Intro.

He delivers tons of quality and high value in the Preface and Intro.

I’ve never seen or read something like this good before.

Most of the time I skip or don’t bother to keep reading the Preface and Intro.

However, this was the first time in my life, where I re-read a Preface or an intro.

I highlighted a lot in those 17 pages.

You know that the book is going to be amazing, when the author already delivers in those two chapters.

Guess what!

The book was amazing and had even more value to offer.

One day when I write I book I am going to make sure the Preface and Intro are amazing and have tons of value too. Thanks, Lewis Howes for the inspiration.

Highlight 2 - The joker Mask

In The Mask of Masculinity Lewis Howes wrote something about the jokers mask that particularly resonated with me.

“Humor becomes the ultimate mask - one that gets you what you’ve always wanted (acceptance) for being the opposite of who you’ve always been (different).”

The Joker mask reminded me of my childhood and teenage years when I put this mask on. It was actually nice to see how far I came and how much I’ve grown as a person compared to now.

As a kid and teenager, I didn’t think that I could contribute intelligence like most kids, so instead, I tried to be funny and the positive around my family and friends.

Like many people, I wanted to avoid being the dark cloud in other peoples lives, so I pretend to be this positive, sunny person, even when I didn’t feel like it.

I wanted to feel like I mattered and that I could make an impact in someone’s life by making them smile or laugh.

I made a lot of people smile or laugh (sometimes they laughed at me), which made me feel significant; however, it didn’t last for long.

For me, it was important to focus all my attention on other people’s lives or challenges. I just wanted to talk about others. Take the focus out of me.

I was afraid that when it was not about them and it was about me they would see how vulnerable actually I am.

I could feel the sadness and pain coming back each time when I became silent.

I would do whatever it takes to break the silence.

I even would make fun of myself.

I would say discouraging things like: I am still surprised how far I came with my stupid and crazy attitude. I never thought that I would last that long.

I would use toxic self-talk to make others feel good about themselves and which would make me smile.

It helped in the beginning.

However, after a certain time using negative, discouraging words to make other people smile, made me miserable.

It took me years to break this cycle.

To be honest with you I just started to talk with myself in a helpful way.

The Joker mask taught me a lot about myself.

I learned to not take everything seriously and to treat myself with more respect and kindness.

I still have those moments when I start talking negatively about myself in order to make others feel good about themselves.

Each day I am practicing positive self-talk in order to reprogram my old habits and beliefs in order to shift those patterns to more empowering and helpful ones.

It’s taking a lot of work and time, but each day I am getting better at it.

One step at a time.


Not only did I enjoy reading The Mask of Masculinity but it also gave me tons of awareness, why I acted a certain way in the past.

It helped me uncover some truths about myself.

This is without question a 5/5 star book review.

A must read if you ask me.

Especially, for every man, who wants to learn about his different masks he is hiding behind and how to finally to start living and showing up authentic.


Lewis Howes

Lewis Howes is an NYT bestselling author, Lifestyle Entrepreneur, a former pro athlete and world record holder in football.

The goal of the School of Greatness is to share inspiring stories from the most brilliant business minds, world-class athletes and influential celebrities on the planet to help you find out what makes great people great.


Now let’s talk about you!

Have you read The Mask of Masculinity?

If yes, what did you like about it? Why?

If no, what is your favorite personal development book?